1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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