the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
