wrigley field is MILF paradise
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
