Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
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