wrigley field is MILF paradise
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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