I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
