i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
