if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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