He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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