she's into porn, im staying here tonight
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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