My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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