Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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