What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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