i just had sex bonerless
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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