I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
