I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
