If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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