Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
