the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
