just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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