I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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