There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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