omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
