let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
