yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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