Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize