i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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