**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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