Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
