didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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