I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
