i jhust puked up my retainher.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
