Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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