hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
