he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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