i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
