I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
wow bdsm is so cute
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