I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Farmville is her only friend.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize