I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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