and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
