And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
