I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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