I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
