Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
