After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
