i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
