he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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