I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
