KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?