I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that