So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon