I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
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being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
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btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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