he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
