Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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