you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
