so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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