Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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