She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
That accounts for only three of the penises
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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