He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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