We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
