There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
