i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We're too hungover to prance.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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